hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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