hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this hospital has no fireball
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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