So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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