But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
