Whod you bang
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
