So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
