Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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