just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
