I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You have to summon your inner elephant
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize