she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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