So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
