He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize