I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
