i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
