Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
