Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All the doctor said was why
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
