i can't believe i had my finger in that
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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