You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
