he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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