He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
