VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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