i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
did i walk over a car last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
