For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
