I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
