I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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