do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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