woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
