please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
