He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
