youre lurking in front of me
I didn't shave. On purpose
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
