I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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