either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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