If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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