What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
