They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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