i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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