my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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