So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
soo... how was my night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
