Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
