If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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