Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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