So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
