so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
