My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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