Sry I called you an 8
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
