you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
