I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
