I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
nutella sex= disaster
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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