He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
