thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
