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• (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome! 

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college

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