Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
