my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
