I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just want nice things and good sex
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
