I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
