she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
