Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's like heaven, but drunker
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
