this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
