the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
