textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
