Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
