I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
