How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
