i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
