The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
