i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
