worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
