Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
