I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
